Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What discoveries in AI research have changed our understanding of intelligence evolution?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I see through liars

Do you think there will ever be a movie that features a line such as “You graduated at the top of your class in liberal arts, we need your help”?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I actually pay taxes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

No One in the Movies Stays Dead Anymore - Yahoo

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

An Optometrist Is Begging People To Stop This Common Habit ASAP - AOL.com

I can count

I don’t buy bullshit

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

At what stage in your life did you realize, "No, I can't do this any more" and walk out? Why?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Soaring U.S. debt doesn’t just put America at risk. It could trigger contagion across global markets, IIF warns - AOL.com

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Have you ever accidentally seen your mother-in-law doing something that was private to her?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Can I see some anal hole?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Elizabeth Hurley Strips Naked for 60th Birthday, Gushes Over Being in Love - TMZ

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What’s the funniest thing you’ve heard a child cry about?

I don’t cotton to rapists

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

SpaceX launches 23 Starlink satellites on Falcon 9 rocket from Cape Canaveral - Spaceflight Now

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When was the first time you suck on a penis?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Will the United States allies share any major secrets with President Trump next year? Will Trump give our nuclear secrets to Russia and China?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I can read

I understand how hurricane paths work

Matching dinosaur footprints found on opposite sides of the Atlantic Ocean, answering a very old question - Earth.com

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t watch or listen to advertising